Moviegoers Were In A Retro Mood …
… this weekend as J.J. Abrams’ pastiche of late-1970s filmmaking, “Super 8,” finished atop the box office heap.

Here’s the weekend’s haul, by the numbers:

Name: Weekend: Total:
1. Super 8 $38m $38m
2. X-Men, First Class $25m $98.4m
3. The Hangover Part II $18.5m $216.5m
4. Kung Fu Panda 2 $16.6m $127m
5. Pirates .. $10.8m $208m
6. Bridesmaids $10.1 $124m

7. Judy Moody … $6.2m $6.2m

8. Midnight in Paris $6.1m $14.2m
9. Thor $2.4m $173m
10. Fast Five $1.7m $205m

Source: Box Office Mojo.

This morning’s film read comes to us courtesy of Salon, which takes a look at the controversy surrounding the British Board of Film Classification’s decision to ban the release of “Human Centipede 2” on the grounds that it’s just so skeevy that inflicting on an unsuspecting viewing public would just be cruel.

We weren’t even aware that there was a “Human Centipede One” until a younger work colleague told us about its existence and what it’s about. In short, it’s a piece of torture porn in which a mad scientist stitches three, unsuspecting tourists together and … well, you get the idea. The title oughta tell you where it’s going from there.

The movie popped up for instant viewing in my Netflix the other night. Curiosity got the better of me, and I gave it a quick viewing. And, by quick, I mean I pretty pretty much fast-forwarded through the movie, pausing at what passed for key plot points, just so I could see what all the fuss was about. It was truly awful. And truly appalling.

There’s arguments to be made about the virtue of horror films to make broader statements about the human condition. I’ll defend the classic Hammer films unto death. And you might even find me making an argument on behalf of “Turistas.” But there’s nothing to redeem “Human Centipede” as a piece of art — at all.

In case you’re wondering what got “Human Centipede 2” banned for DVD release in the UK, here’s the germane part of the ruling from the British film board (apologies in advance for the grossness, here):

“Examples of this include a scene early in the film in which he masturbates whilst he watches a DVD of the original Human Centipede film, with sandpaper wrapped around his ____, and a sequence later in the film in which he becomes aroused at the sight of the members of the ‘centipede’ being forced to _____ into one another’s ______, culminating in sight of the man wrapping barbed wire around his ____ and _____ the woman at the rear of the ‘centipede’.”

And to think the UK public will be robbed of the chance of seeing this deathless art … Yech.