"Yes, Leo. I am afraid you're going to have to drown in 3D."

Remember the schmaltz. Remember Billy Zane (Anyone, anyone?). Remember how shockingly awful and terrifying it was to watch thousands of people perish in the icy depths?

James Cameron does. It got him an Oscar and stuff.  And now he’s re-releasing it in 3D. Why? Because he can. And you have no choice but to go along with it.

Or not.

Here’s the trailer.

And here’s an absolutely hilarious and merciless take-down by The Guardian’s Stuart Heritage on the nakedness of this particular cash-in.